unapologetic.

so.

how’ve ya been?

oh, me? i’ve been…

busy.

sorry for the lack of blogging (just in case you live for my words, as i’m sure you do). this semester has been a whirlwind. despite the fact that i’m taking more hours, and my workload is gigantic compared to last semester, i actually like this semester a LOT more than last. so i’ve been less anxious where that is concerned.

on top of constant school-related work, you may have heard that i recently got a freelance editing gig. i’m extremely excited about this. it’s with an independent publisher: martin sisters publishing. my dear friend jennifer barry has had one title published with them, and she has a lot of other (extremely exciting) projects in the works! anyway, i’ve finished one manuscript and am working on another. i feel incredibly lucky for this experience.

my resumé is building up nicely with that and my two publishing internships.

i also met with my advisor yesterday, who had a lot of encouraging things to say. we had a great discussion about art in general, and he said that he likes my work for the most part. i was beyond pleased to hear that. i’ve only had one painting professor for the three classes i’ve taken, and i wish i could go back and change that, because i’ve only had his opinion on my work thus far. i’m branching out this summer and taking a class with a different professor. as nervous as that makes me, i need to do it. i need the technical instruction that i haven’t gotten with my other professor. though i’m incredibly grateful that i’ve had the opportunity to develop my own style and voice so early on. i know exactly what i want to “say” with my paintings, and i’ve actually learned a good bit about myself through them.

they’re very…”me.”

vulnerable, anxious, hard to read, trying to be pleasing, and maybe sometimes trying to be something they’re not.

which brings me to another topic. it’s march 2nd, and i’ve got a new “project” to work on. as of yesterday, my new goal is to care less about what people think of me. i’m so stand-offish and shy at times because i’m afraid of what people think or see. people have told me that because of this, they thought i was a snob when they first met me.

and that makes me really sad. because i’m not a snob.

really, i’m an open book. sometimes i’m an over-sharer (hence constant updates on facebook and twitter…). and sometimes i regret sharing things that i’ve shared, because i realize how idiotic or nerdy they made me seem. i realize, though, that most people go through the same thing, even though sometimes i feel like the dorkiest person in the world.

so what i’m working on is trying to not feel embarrassed or apologetic for who i am, what i do, what i love, or how i live. i don’t owe anything to anyone but myself. and the hubster, of course. i owe him my world. and you know what? i have to stop and remember sometimes that he and others love me FOR who i am. not despite it. if anything about me was different, maybe i’d be a different person, and those people wouldn’t love me the way they do. ❤

so yeah. i’m trying not to care. i’m trying really hard. i’m going to keep doing what i do UNAPOLOGETICALLY.

i’ll own my dorky status. lol

umm…i totally did not mean for this to be some giant emo post. it was supposed to be a quick update on what i’ve been up to.

SO! end emo-ness and cue list of exciting things:

*editing job

*upcoming artistic opportunities (i promise i’ll blog about that later.)

*a possible quick trip to see some lovely friends

*spring break is this coming week! i’m dedicating it to editing, writing, and painting.

*being halfway finished with the semester

*i signed up for a jazz dance class for fall semester. and the harry potter class! i’m hoping to learn some really useful spells and potions. 😉  (just kidding…in case the sarcasm didn’t convey…)

*i’ve officially lost 8.8 pounds! the most important thing is that i’ve gone down at least one pants size, and a couple of my shirts are getting too baggy to be cute. that last bit is sad and exciting at the same time. lol. the way i look and feel has always been more important to me than what the scale says, but seeing those numbers drop each week is pretty awesome.

*i’ve made the decision to finish up one of my own manuscripts by may so i can get the five free printed copies i earned from doing nanowrimo. 🙂  it’s not anything official. it’s not even necessarily something i’ll strive to have published. but it’ll be cool to see it in book form, anyway. 😉

well, i hope you’re having a great friday, and that you have lots of fun (or relaxing, if you’d rather) things planned for the weekend. i’m going to the lowcountry artists market and the circus! wanna go with?

unabashedly me,

*tiff*

i leave you with a funny:

 

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