feeling better now.

as per the title, i am feeling much better today than yesterday. i spent the day in limbo, in a weird sort of stupor, doing laundry and cooking dinner (much earlier than normal, b/c i skipped lunch & was starving by 4 o’clock) while listening to those christmas songs i mentioned in the last post. i made a cd & played it at top volume in the dvd player (so that it was extra loud & obnoxious), beginning with the most upbeat christmas songs: “all i want for christmas” by mariah carey, which makes me want to watch one of my fave movies, love, actually. and “step into christmas” by elton john. i followed those up with the best, cheesiest, most amazing christmas song ever, “last christmas” by wham! after easing myself into the christmas music with these, i added more traditional ones.

when the hubster got home, i had a mini-breakdown. he’s my source of comfort and relief, and he never fails to be these things when i need them. upon further examination, my down mood yesterday was about much more than not being able to feel christmas-y, but it was the first thing i focused on. we’ve got a sneaking suspicion that my meds aren’t really working (pesky placebo effect), and that my problem isn’t a mood disorder at all. he was talking to a guy at work (without even knowing about my slump yesterday, so it was sort of ironic, really) who told him that he had an extreme case of ADD. when he began describing the things he went through, the hubster said that a lightbulb went off over his head with each symptom: needing music or old movies playing in the background at all times, otherwise i can’t concentrate on *anything*. the extreme irritation i get (which went away for a few weeks, but has come back again with the stress of finals, etc), in which i go from zero to REALLY. PISSED. OFF. in .01 of  a second. reading a whole page before stopping and realizing that my thoughts have wandered off and i haven’t retained a single word of what i’ve just read. not being able to sleep because my mind is racing. these are all symptoms that are also associated with bipolar 2, and the two are often misdiagnosed (mistaking one for the other is apparently very common). off to the shrink i go again.

i think i need this:  

to be honest, it’s not that big of a deal to me. as long as i figure out why i feel the way i feel sometimes and have an actual reason for it, they could call me clinically insane and i’d be alright with it, as long as they could treat it. (of course i know i’m not insane, sillies.)


the point of this post was to show that i’m feeling better about christmas now. 🙂  i’m starting to feel the holiday cheer slowly creeping up my spine to make its way into my silly head and heart. we spent last night hanging out with some good friends, who have two oh-so-adorable little girls, ages 1.5 and almost-three. we spent a good deal of time when we first got there with them pointing out ornaments on the christmas tree, telling us what they were. then i got to see some of the really cool christmas presents they’re going to get. let me just tell you, the stuff they have for barbie dolls today is *amazing*! barbie now has a king-size bed with mosquito netting! she’s become quite the lady of luxury since breaking up with ken… hmm…

and this morning, i woke up all cozy and comfy, having fallen into bed in sweat pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt last night, my socks still on. it got below freezing last night for the first time, so i was quite chilled by the time we got home. i came downstairs, made coffee, ate a fiber one pop tart (they’re really good & have 5 grams of fiber each!), and sat down to read my daily blogs.

and lo and behold, i got some beautiful inspiration!

amanda from here’s lookin’ at me kid began the cheering-up-of-the-inner-grinch by sending me directions on how to make these adorable sweater stockings i found on her blog the other day. and look at the pretty chandelier!

and i love these diy wreaths i found at twig & thistle:

my favorite is the one on the top right, the ruffly felt rosette wreath. find how-to directions here.

twig & thistle also has this really cool project that i just might have to make for special gifts this christmas:

here are some other cheery inspirational photos i found:

last but not least, i have wanted for a long time to dye my hair pink. i did a stripe for breast cancer awareness, but i want my whole head pink! seeing it on elsie flannigan (who has long been one of my favorite scrapbooker/artist/crafter/blogger/adorable ladies) recently renews my interest in it.

how cute is she?!

download this:  life’s a dream by built to spill (i was totally unaware that they had a new album out!)


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