weekend bruise-fest.

yes, you read that right. 

BRUISE-fest.

here’s the recap:

at some point on saturday, i went into the kitchen for a glass of water. when i went to open the refrigerator door, my hand slipped, and i began to fall backwards. my left foot automatically kicked out, and my poor little baby pinky toe got smashed to hell against the fridge. it hurt so badly that i didn’t even yell at first! lol. then i said a few choice words, got my glass of water, and hobbled back to the couch, where i held my foot and rocked back and forth and groaned for a few minutes. the pain would *not* subside. i texted the hubster that i was pretty sure i’d broken my toe, and that i was dead serious.  i took off my slipper booty thingy, and examined my toe. i couldn’t move it, and it was already all red & swollen.  (it was a lucky thing i’d been wearing those slipper booty thingies, b/c it would’ve been worse if my toe hadn’t been semi-protected.) somewhere in the midst of my examination, the hubster called.

“is your toe okay?”

“no, it really isn’t.”

“how long were you on the floor?”  

“i wasn’t on the floor. i didn’t even cry. *sniff* that was a sniff of derision, not crying.”

by the time he got home, the bruise had already started to show up. by the time i took my shower and got ready for my little cuz’s graduation party, my littlebabypinkytoe was dark purple. i couldn’t even wear cute shoes or dance. or walk gracefully, for that matter. hee.

the next day was not any better. 

the hubster and i were getting ready to go to my mom & dad’s house for my papaw’s birthday cookout. 

during the getting ready, the hubster dropped his elbow directly down onto my nose. HARD. right between my eyes. on the bump part. yeowch. i whimpered, b/c he also happened to step on my broken toe right after giving me the people’s elbow. he apologized profusely. it wasn’t his fault. neither of us can help the fact that i am a good foot shorter than he and right in face-elbowing range. it happens. often, actually. especially on roller coasters.

once we were finally ready to leave, it was absolutely pouring rain.

and when i say pouring, i mean it was a frackin’ monsoon.

i pouted and said i wouldn’t be going out in that mess without an umbrella. we couldn’t find an umbrella, so i didn’t have a choice. i put my messenger bag over my head and ran to the car. in the eight or so feet i had to go, i got absolutely SOAKED! i was mad. 

i got into the car, slammed the door shut, said another few choice words, and went to sling my messenger bag, which held my laptop, a magazine, and a few notebooks, into the back seat. 

alas, my big head got in the way for the second time that day. the bag swung right into my head, the corner of my laptop (which ain’t no macbook air, lemme tell ya!) clocking me in the forehead, right at the inside corner of my left eyebrow. i screamed. literally screamed. this hurt worse than all the other injuries i incurred over the weekend. willy sat helpless in the driver’s seat while i sobbed and hiccupped, covering my face. i literally saw stars.  i could feel a lump already. after nearly making myself hyperventilate (i’m not a drama queen–i have asthma! *blush* plus, that bitch HURT!) i finally calmed down and then i took a nap til we got to mom & dad’s, which is barely 15 minutes from our house.  the best part? the rain had let up quite a bit once we were settled in the car. curse that murphy and his stupid law!

willy poked me in the leg when we got there. i sat up and looked in the mirror–i definitely had mascara all over my face. luckily, we keep napkins in the glove compartment, so i cleaned up as best i could. 

of course, it had started pouring again. so out i went to make a mad dash into the house. got soaked again. plus, i was still a little dazed.

mom: do you want to go lay down?

foxycleopatra: she might have a concussion! ask her questions! what’s seven times seven?  stuff she knows!

i giggled in spite of myself, b/c that’s the same movie line i’d been thinking of in my head. i went to look in the bathroom mirror, and sure enough, there was a visible lump above the inner corner of my eyebrow. 

as is the case during our family get-togethers, foxycleopatra, our little bella-look-alike cousin, and i were giggly & snarky & funny. but every time i wrinkled my brow in preparation to open my big mouth, i almost fainted from the stupid pain. lol. karma. 

today, every time i bumped my bruised & broken toe, i winced, which in turn made me yell “OUCH!” because of the lump on my brow.

not to mention that when i woke up this morning, i was f-f-freezing my butt off! i couldn’t figure out why til i got up and saw that it was like 49 degrees, cloudy, and still rainy outside. how crazy is that?! i was in shorts and short sleeves yesterday, and a sleeveless dress the day before that. weirdo weather. 

i’m a mess today. apart from my injuries, i’m also in quite the mood. the weather has a major effect on my moods. they are directly linked. 

bah. 

back to beta-ing (aka “editing”) my friend’s writing…

download this:  in spite of my mood, let’s pick a cheery song, shall we? chin up, cheer up by ryan adams.

today’s fave etsy item:  don’t turn that frown upside down button, by beanforest.

 

runner up: "cheer up, emo kid."

runner up: "cheer up, emo kid."

and just because i can, and i know it will cheer me up immensely, i’m adding gratuity to the tab:

 

they're showing me how sorry they are about my brow injury.  also, rob had a birthday last week, making him only five years younger than me now. :)

they're showing me how sorry they are about my brow injury. also, rob had a birthday last week, making him only five years younger than me now. 🙂

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One comment

  1. Oh honey. 😦

    I am at a loss. I wish I could hug you. But for reals I’m the clumsiest person alive so we should avoid being in the same place for a while lest we accidentally knock a candle over reaching to hug and burn the entire place down. 😉

    Chin up. But not so high up you hit it on something!

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